Amber Barnett:My strongest work happens when I stop trying to create something beautiful and start trying to create something honest

This editorial was entirely created by you, from behind the camera to in front of it. Where did the initial idea for the series come from?

I recently returned to photography after stepping away for about two years. I had changed a lot during that time, so I wasn’t interested in recreating the photographer I had been before. This series was really about turning the camera toward myself and discovering what my creative voice looks like now.

What did you want to explore or express about yourself through these images that you couldn’t necessarily communicate through modeling alone?

I’ve always been inspired by artists like Frida Kahlo, who used themselves as part of the story. Self-portraiture allows me to explore emotion, femininity, vulnerability, and change in a way that goes beyond simply modeling for a photograph. Sometimes, I can photograph what I’m feeling before I can put it into words.

How did you develop the visual concept, from the location and styling to the warm, intimate color palette and natural light?

I usually start with a feeling rather than a detailed plan. I wanted this series to feel warm, earthy, intimate, and nostalgic, so natural light and the outdoor environment felt right. I love texture and movement, and I wanted the photographs to feel discovered rather than overly produced.

Being both photographer and subject means you have to imagine the image before you can actually see it. How do you visualize a photograph when you’re the person in front of the lens?

I tend to see photographs in my head before they exist. I’ll start with an idea for the light, composition, or feeling, take a frame, look at it, adjust, and step back in. Eventually, what the camera sees starts to meet what I originally imagined.

How do you direct yourself during a shoot? Do you work from very specific poses and compositions, or do you allow yourself to respond instinctively to the moment?

Mostly through instinct. I may begin with a particular composition, but I try not to over-pose myself because some of my favorite photographs happen between the poses. I give myself enough direction to begin and enough freedom for something unexpected to happen.

There’s a sense of vulnerability and intimacy throughout the editorial. Was that something you consciously wanted the images to convey?

Yes. I’m becoming much more interested in honesty than perfection. The portraits are completely bare-faced, which was vulnerable for me because I rarely share photographs of myself publicly without makeup. However, allowing those imperfect and unguarded moments to remain is what makes the work feel real.

How does photographing yourself change the way you think about your own body, expressions, and presence compared with being photographed by someone else?

It changes the question from “Do I look good?” to “Does this photograph make me feel something?” When I’m behind the camera too, I see my body as part of the composition—shape, movement, light, and emotion—rather than something I need to critique.

Was it difficult to separate the photographer’s eye from the model’s instincts? Were there moments when the two sides of you wanted different things from an image?

Absolutely. The photographer in me loves messy hair, grain, shadows, strange crops, and imperfect expressions, while the woman in front of the camera occasionally thinks, “Is that really my best angle?” More and more, I’m learning to let the photographer win.

Which photograph from this editorial feels the most personal to you, and why?

The warm-toned portrait with sunlight across my face, where I’m looking from the side, feels the most personal. Part of me is in the light and part remains in shadow, and that unintentionally became symbolic of where I am in life. It feels like neither who I was nor who I’m going to be—it simply feels like me, right now.

What have you discovered about yourself as a photographer through turning the camera on yourself?

I’ve learned that my strongest work happens when I stop trying to create something beautiful and start trying to create something honest. Stepping away from photography didn’t stop me from growing as an artist. I came back different, so naturally, my photographs did too.

Do you see modeling and photography as two separate creative practices, or have they become inseparable parts of the way you tell stories and express yourself?

Not really. I don’t think of myself as modeling as much as becoming the subject of my own work. Self-portraiture allows me to be the photographer, subject, director, and storyteller all at once.

If you could describe this entire body of work in one sentence—not as a photographer or as a model, but simply as Amber—what would you say it represents?

It represents the space between who I have been and who I am becoming, and learning to find beauty in the in-between.

Photographer: Amber Barnett @_amber_barnett_